by A.H. Richardson (Goodreads Author)
I was disappointed in this book. The story is promising, but the writing lacks polish and badly needs an editor. The spelling is good, but punctuation and sentence structure are riddled with mistakes and typos. The plot is predictable and trite, making the story boring at times. The whole Chosen One/ prophecy storyline is really overdone, and there’s nothing new in this story to add interest to the trope.
I liked the characters, but they need better development. I liked the friendship between Jorie and Rufus. They have some good dialogue, and some funny jokes between them, but their relationship can also be awkward at times.
Also one of the characters is named “Mr. Groot.” Seriously? Are we stealing names from Guardians of the Galaxy now? Granted, it is short for “Grootmonya”, but still… not the most original name ever.
The writing tends to “tell” instead of “show”, and then it “tells” you again, even after the writing has “shown” you something, just to make sure you know it TWICE. I got frustrated with the ridiculously obvious statements and redundancies.
For instance, this passage…. “She heard a soft reassuring snoring sound. Good! Her aunt was asleep.”
No duh. Thank you, Captain Obvious, for that astute judgement. I’m so glad you explained that to me twice.
“She crept down the stairs and passed Bessie’s room, and here the snoring was much louder. Bessie was definitely sound asleep.”
Amazing powers of deduction! Snoring = Asleep! Wow, that was a good explanation of important information for the reader that I could never have figured out on my own.
Overall, I think this book has some potential. It has a decent magic world, a half-way decent plot, and a few good characters. It reads like a second draft though, and needs some editing, both macro and micro.
Disclaimer: I received this book from the author/publisher in exchange for a free and honest review. All the opinions stated here are my own true thoughts and are not influenced by anyone.