10 Times the Book was Better than Reality

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10 Times the Book was Better than Reality

We’ve all been there. You read about something and expect it to be amazing IRL (in real life) only to be disappointed  when it actually happens to you. Here are the worst instances when reality just didn’t live up to the hype.

 

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10. Picnics

Books: Good food, beautiful outdoors, 3-legged races, water balloons, fireworks, and fireflies in a jar.

Reality: Bugs, bug bites, bugs in your food, bugs crawling on your leg, and the bug that you swallowed while running. Also a grove of trees blocked your view of the fireworks, you have a gash on your knee from tripping in the 3-legged race, and you got food-poisoning from some iffy potato salad.

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9. Workplace

Books: All the co-workers are friends and hang out after work. The boss is tough but fair.  There’s the blossoming possibility of romance with several potential people.

Reality: Your co-workers are annoying jerks with BO.  You never see them outside of work, and you wouldn’t want to. Your boss IS tough, but nothing about his work-ethic is fair, plus he mumbles so you rarely understand a word he says. Romance? With these people? No, thank you.

burnt cooking

8. Cooking

Books:  Cookbooks have beautiful pictures of delicious dishes. Recipe states “Easy Skill Level” and “Preparation Time: 30 minutes”.

Reality: It takes at least an hour just to find and assemble the ingredients, whatever is frozen refuses to defrost,  something on the stove gets overcooked while you are waiting for the oven to preheat, and the smoke detector goes off when the chicken burns.  The finished product looks nothing like the picture, and tastes worse.

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7. Ghosts

Books: The delightful frightened feeling when a mysterious sound comes from the attic.  The nervous giggling as you and your friends investigate armed with flashlights and bunny slippers.

Reality:  A squirrel is in your attic.

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6. Camping

Books: Canoeing on the lake, campfire songs, s’mores, hiking the trails, and all that fresh air.

Reality:  You fall in the lake and get covered in mud, nobody knows or wants to sing any campfire songs, the marshmallow for your s’more falls in the fire and no one will share with you, you get blisters from all that hiking, and you seem to inhale every particle of smoke from that campfire.

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5. Prom

Books: You look like a princess/prince in your fancy duds. You meet the love of your life and spend the night dancing with your friends, laughing, making memories.  Everyone is jealous of how popular and sweet you are.

Reality: You are incredibly uncomfortable in your fancy duds, and scared that you’ll rip your pants. You don’t dance because you’re worried everyone will think you’re an awkward loser.  You don’t meet the love of your life, and your friends spend the night gossiping about one another behind their backs.  You make memories, but they are chiefly of the awkward-standing-around and a random person puking on your shoes in the bathroom.

wardrobe narnia

4. Wardrobes

Books: Through the wardrobe filled with soft fur coats is the portal to a magical land called Narnia, ripe for adventure where you will find your destiny!

Reality: The wardrobe smells like old ladies and mothballs. The only fur coat is crusty, full of holes, and smells like an actual dead animal’s skin. The back of the wardrobe is solid, no portal, no magic land, no adventure. Now you are sitting at the bottom of a wardrobe, alone and lonely and so very alone.

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3. First kiss

Books: He looks deeply into your eyes, and puts his hand on your waist, pulling you in closer. He breathes your name, and touches your hair. Slowly you lift your lips to his, and with the softest brush of a touch your lips gently meet for an instant. With shining eyes and clasped hands, you stroll together into the sunset.

Reality:  Awkwardness.  More awkwardness. Fumbling hands. Slobber.  Every time he sees you after that, he ducks behind a tree.

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2. Sword fighting

Books: Dazzling swordplay, witty repartee, fancy footwork, and superficial wounds that leave a cool scar.

Reality:  That sword is heavy! How can people lift this thing? You trip on your fancy feet, you can’t think of any witty retorts other than “Ow! Hey, that hurt!”, and the only wound you get is from knocking yourself in the knee with your extremely heavy (Lord of the Rings replica) broadsword.

running away

 1. Running away

Books: Packing a knapsack with important essentials, hitch-hiking with colorful characters, eating in roadside diners with colorful characters, and making new friends with colorful characters.

Reality: The handle falls off your old suitcase because you stuffed too many Barbies and Hot Wheels in it, you walk for half a mile and meet no one, then hunger and thirst begin to creep in. You sit down on the curb and cry for awhile then feel better, until the neighbors come out and ask if you are lost and do you need a ride home.  You get home in time for dinner, and your Mom makes you a special chocolate milk with a bendy straw.

 

 

Tell me in the comments about a time when the reality of something you experienced was nowhere near as good as the book!

Happy Reading!

 

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